The Art Of Chaos....

So I've been sitting here recently trying to come up with different blog topics.  I've had some good ones come through from you readers who are kind enough to make suggestions.  I had one come through not too long ago, and it's been one of those ideas that has stuck in my mind. I haven't used it yet because a small voice in my head keeps saying "dude, nobody is going to care."  But you know what?   It's my blog, and this person pitched the idea.  So I'm going to run with it and we'll see where we end up...   It'll either take off like a majestic eagle in flight or crash miserably like the mentally challenged sparrow did into my bay window last year...  Either way..  Here we go..

The suggestion as it came through was "what is a day like in the life of a stay at home dad."  I am for the most part in my definition a stay at home dad.  A job title I honestly never thought I'd hold.  One that is both a great blessing and one sometimes I wondered if I'm being punished for something...   But either way, I will take you through a day for me.  So prepare some other reading material just in case and accept my apologies in advance this goes the way of the Hindenburg....

I as some of you may or may not know am the father of 4 boys.  Ages 9, 4, 4, and 7 months...   The three oldest start their day far before me.  They are usually up at the butt crack of dawn anywhere from 5:30 to 7am..   A fact I promise you they will regret later in life when they can't sleep in.  And a fact I come to regret about 1pm that day when they turn into Tasmanian demon spawns of emotion..  Jill is usually up by 5:30 and takes control as referee until I roll out of bed.   My alarm goes off at 7:30am and I instantly cringe and want to do this...

After coming to grips with the fact that I do have to get up, and convince myself that the kids would not be alright on their own.  I roll out of bed, get dressed, and stumble out of the sanctuary that is our bedroom..  There is a light at the end of the hallway but walking toward this light is like taking Ex-lax and Imodium and seeing what one wins... You don't know what you're going to get..  I guess I could have used the Forrest Gump box of chocolates line, but I like to really paint that mental picture in your head, while keeping it classy.  Most days, there is a child either screaming or crying for any given number of reasons.  There is the rare occasion where all three of them are quietly sitting on the couch minding their business.  But let's be realistic, Halley's Comet comes around more often than that happens.  So more days than not, I stumble out into the living room after a short verbal exchange with Jill about who has eaten, who has changed, who went potty, and the most important piece of information..  How is Caleb this morning??   I may receive some judgement for that last statement but don't judge unless you know what it's like.   Caleb has ADHD, and is on medication for that.  But he doesn't take his meds in the morning until around 7:45-8am.  So anything before he takes his meds is a crap shoot.  There are mornings he comes down the stairs and you can just see in his eyes he's looking for a fight, and me not being the perkiest of morning people, am usually happy to oblige.  And that will set the tone for the morning..  Others he is quiet and reserved and just wants to be left alone.  This Caleb is fine, he does what he's told, maybe a little slower than normal but it's a trade off you accept.  Then there is Tasmanian Devil on crack Caleb.  This Caleb is the toughest for me to deal with.  I am as I stated NOT a morning person.  And I can picture Caleb laying in his bed, when his eyes shoot open and he just starts to vibrate to the point he flies out of bed.   From the time he hits the floor he's going 150 miles per hour, he's running from room to room, talking at just below a full out scream, picking on his brothers to get a reaction, and is just a blur throughout the house.  By this time Jill is walking and/or running out the door.  

I now go into auto pilot for a few minutes.  The baby if everything goes well and the boys don't wake him should be out for another 45 to 60 min.  I stop Caleb long enough to go through our morning checklist, backpack put together and lunch put in?  Take your pills?  Do you have your hat and gloves?  Homework folder?  If  answers yes to all of these I will let him continue on his way.  Otherwise, it turns into the job trying to talk to Hammy from Over The Hedge...   Once that is settled, I will find out how the twins are, if they're hungry, if they've eaten, etc..    Most times they don't want to eat right away.  Like me in that aspect, can't get out of bed and eat immediately.  Quick look at the clock shows 8:15am, time to get Caleb out the door to wait for the bus.  He after stopping to break ice off the eaves, kick snow, walk through every snowbank, and bang on windows, finally makes it to the end of the drive way.   The boys and I take up our usual positions on the couch in the front living room to watch him wait for the bus..  This usually turns into snoring myself back awake, and the boys making these faces looking at me like I was Michael Vick walking into a Petco.  Then they proceed to mock my snoring.  Bus pulls up, Caleb jumps on and away he goes..  He'll be home around 4pm.

We wander back into the kitchen.  I stop them and ask them what they want for breakfast.  This daily routine alone has given me the confidence that I could be a pretty good interrogator.  Because it usually takes a few minutes of doing everything but sitting them at a table with a bright spot light on their faces to get them to give me a straight answer.   Eventually I will list all the possibilities they can have several times and they'll go with the very first thing I said..  Usually pop tarts or chocolate chip waffles...   So I make their breakfast, turn some cartoons on Netflix and FINALLY grab a cup of coffee.  Glance at the clock 8:45am...   I collapse into the recliner and drink my coffee praying for the caffeine to kick in.  I get about 10 to 15 minutes on average before I hear babbling coming from the baby monitor...

There is always that brief moment where I hear the baby start talking/babbling that I cringe... Go ahead, I'll give you a few seconds to judge me...............................................  Ok, long enough...  A baby as those of you who have had them know can be exhausting.  There are times where I am physically tired from the slapstick comedy routine I have to put on in times of his being fussy just to keep him from screaming and crying.  And when he wakes in the morning there is that moment where you realize you have to get him up, and pray he's calm, happy, and easy all day.  That's where the cringe comes from, when he's sleeping peacefully there's no worry as to what mood he'll be in.    So I get up and go to the kitchen, grab a baby bowl, a bottle, formula, cereal and get to making his breakfast.  Bottle made, cereal made, I pour more coffee, set it all on the table, get his chair out and head to his room.  Now, this is the part I usually end up feeling guilty for cringing.  I walk through the door and it's like Christmas morning to him every morning.  Kind of like a dog really..  Beyond happy to see you and loses control of himself.  Arms flailing, legs kicking, smiling, and making his weird grunting noises.
I exchange pleasantries with him, and grab him, carry him over to the changing table.  This cannot be done without the obligatory swinging around that causes him to laugh.  Onto the table, 95% chance he's wet through to his onesie.  Jill is kind enough to get clothes out for him in the morning otherwise he ends up looking like Stevie Wonder dressed him in the dark...  Changed, dressed, and off to the kitchen.  Into the highchair, bib the size of Texas draped across him.  I pull him up and start shoveling spoonfuls of the most horrible looking cereal I've ever seen.  The twins are finishing their breakfast and come say morning to Alex.   Morning is the easiest meal to feed him.  Cereal and a bottle... Sometimes left over food from the night before.   He finishes, gets cleaned up and out of the chair.  And into the living room and into his bouncy seat.  I put on some Baby Einstein-ish program and the three of them are riveted.  I head to the kitchen and finally grab some breakfast for me.  Glance at the clock,  9:50am.

I manage to get some breakfast, head into the living room where begins the longest stretch of my day.  He's not due to eat lunch until 1pm or after.  The twins don't eat until 12-12:30pm.    This is where I play with Alex, wrestle with the twins, and suffer through children's shows that make me irrationally angry.  Calliou for those of you who don't know, is THE WORST cartoon ever created..  If you don't that agree with that claim, I challenge you to watch it for an hour straight..  By the end of that 60 minutes you'll find him to be the most annoying child in the history of children..  He whines incessantly, his voice is just above the level that makes dogs heads explode, and the stories themselves are just plain awful... It makes me want to push my finger through my eye, into my brain, and swirl it around to hopefully forget what had been seen...   This time is also met with me finding myself fighting to keep my eyes open.  There will be times that all 3 are watching a cartoon and suddenly I'm brought back to consciousness with a slap, poke, or yell in my ear..  It's usually only a few minutes but just enough time to where there has almost been need of professional cleaning of said recliner afterward...  Glance at the clock, 11:22 am.

Finally lunch rolls around,  twins again need to hear what's on today's menu 3 or 4 times.  They make up their mind.  I make their food, they're eating and happy.  I look at the clock and it's 12:45pm.  Alex will sometimes catch a cat nap between breakfast and lunch.  If he does it's usually only 20 minutes because the twins are at this stage of being genetically incapable of being quiet for longer than that.   So I pick him up, take him to his room and change his diaper.  I bring him out to the kitchen and put him in his chair.  Jill again is nice enough to take out today's selection of baby food for lunch. So I make a small bottle, cereal, grab his food.  I usually play some music during lunch.  Music I would be ashamed to be caught listening to if another adult walked in, but am more than happy to belt out for the boys..  But whatever you think it's not 90's Pop music, and it's NOT N'Sync, Backstreet Boys, Oasis, or various dance music...   I feed him lunch, give him the rest of his bottle, and tell the boys it's quiet time.  During this time they can watch a movie on Netfilx, lay on the couch and play their Leapsters.  I take Alex to his room, check his butt, throw his sleep sack on him, and put him in bed. Hit the mobile and close his door.

This for me, is my time.  I grab some lunch, do some dishes, empty the dishwasher if needed.  Usually make more coffee, make any phone calls that need to be made.  Other times it's when I can sit down and hammer out a blog.  I get up every 10 minutes or so and check on the boys.  But during this time, if they're quiet, I leave them alone.

Baby stirs in his room and I again fight the selfish feeling of wanting to be angry.  Glance at the clock and it's 3:58pm...  He's slept over 2 hours.  I finish up what I'm doing and head into his room..  Again, met with flailing limbs and squeals.  That kind of greeting never gets old.  It's when they get to Caleb's age and your arrival is met with looks of indifference that it gets old.  I get him up, change him and bring him out to the living room.  Throw him in his stand up jumper and sit next to him in the chair.  Caleb is usually getting home from school about this time and again it's a day to day crap shoot as to what Caleb you're going to get when he walks through the door.   Some days he's happy and jokey, others he walks in and immediately unleashes a verbal tirade against the twins, there are days he'll walk in and burst into tears after a bad day or because he doesn't want to be bored at home.   During this time if it's needed I will start getting things around for dinner.  Or sometimes even make dinner myself.   And it's just a waiting game until Jill gets home around 5:20pm.

You know looking back at this post it almost makes my day seem not that hectic.  But I have to tell you, that it a lot of times feels like I'm being pulled in 50 different directions throughout the day.  There are water/drink needs, fights to break up, randomly crying baby issues, poopy diapers, snack requests, and unforeseen issues that seem to pop up.

It's really not as bad as I may make it out to seem..  There is a certain lack of adult interaction during my days and that sometimes can be tough.  Winter weather also have proven to be a tough issue as the boys cannot get outside like they can during the summer.   So if you ever see a Facebook status that seems like I'm complaining about spending time with my kids it's probably not as it seems.  It's just frustration.  Things could definitely be worse and there are a lot of worse things in life than spending time with your kids on a daily basis.

But I hope that gives you a little more of a look at what our days are like around here.  They're crazy, loud, busy, and can be tiring.  But this is probably part of the reason I stay up until 1am.  I can't shut my mind off at night, and come 9pm ALL THE KIDS ARE ASLEEP!!  I get to just sit on the couch, watch Parks and Rec or Storm Chasers and talk to Jill.  And it's amazing.  I love my kids..  But I look forward to and love that time frame from 9pm to 1am...  It's time to just unwind, blank out, and just enjoy the quiet that is kids sleeping...

Anyway,  thank you for your suggestions.. Keep them coming in please!  Subscribe subscribe subscribe!!  Use the options on the right hand side of this blog to sign up, or drop me a line, comment, idea, whatever...  And do me a favor, if you like this blog, and know other parents who might enjoy it too please pass a link onto your friends, family, whomever you wish.  Part of what I'm doing with this blog, book idea, and all involved is to get this out to as many people as possible to see if this venture is worth the time I put into it.  If anything I can say it is because I love to write and I appreciate the feedback, comments, ideas, questions, I've received so far.  Keep them coming!!!

Until Next Time,
Be Well.....

p.s. You can follow me at the following places by clicking on the name -  Twitter @RefRobG
or find me on Facebook at RobGibson15