I'll start at the beginning... The night we found out we were having twins.. The pregnancy was going fine or at least to me it was.. I think we were in about month 3-4 of the pregnancy (if I'm wrong I'll post a correction) and we had listened to the heart beat of what we were assured was only ONE baby. Now, to talk to Jill she says she had a feeling all along that they were going to be twins. But the doctor said he only heard one heart beat. Granted, he kept finding it in different places but he just assumed we had an active baby.. Well, Jill starts having some complications and we go into the ER to make sure she and baby are ok. The doctor orders an ultra sound to make sure baby is ok.. No big deal right... We get into the room, she lays down on the table and the lady doing the ultra sound walks in and preps Jill. She puts the goo all over her belly and waves the wand across and I thought momentarily I saw two heads, but just assumed it was the way it displayed on the screen.. Here's exactly how the next 15 seconds went.....
Nurse: This is your first ultra sound correct?
Us: Yes it is....
Nurse: And you know that they are twins correct?
Me: WHAT?!?!?!
From this point on it's hazy. I may not have that conversation verbatim but after receiving news that the baby you thought was only was was in fact now TWO, you tend to go into a little bit of shock... At this point I'm literally speechless, not like over come with joy can't talk through the tears speechless.. More like grab this stuttering, stammering, guy a bib and helmet speechless.. I got very lightheaded and the nurse had to physically help me to sit down or else they'd have needed to find a way to get a fork lift into that room to get me off the floor. So I'm now sitting in a chair babbling like Rain Man, pretty sure I was rocking back and forth going "there should only be one, definitely only one, doctor said there was only one, uh oh there's two, but there should only be one and now there's two, definitely two, definitely definitely two." When you're not expecting that kind of news, the way you handle it is as pure of a reaction as anyone could ever have. I remember telling the lady there should only be one and that maybe it's not really two babies but one big super baby... I remember standing back up and walking back to her bedside and watching the rest of the ultra sound... One head.. Two heads... Two sets of hands and feet.. Two ____..... Well, we found out they were boys, you fill in the blank.. My mind was officially blown. Right then I sent a text to my cousin who worked in the hospital to come down and witness this because nobody was going to believe me when I told them. So he comes in and laughs immediately but offers congratulations or condolences, I don't remember. So we find out mamma and babies are all ok and we get moved to a room to wait for the doctor. While we're sitting there, I get the idea to call people and tell them the news, and hopefully have some company in the S.S. Mindblown that I'm currently sailing toward Insanity Island on.. We call my parents, I tell my mom who doesn't believe me, no matter how many times I tell her, no matter how many times I say Dan (my cousin) was there to witness, to her this is a practical joke (she will continue disbelief up to about a week later when Dan stood in front of her physically and told her he was there.) But she laughs and has me tell my dad who chuckles but doesn't really say much. So we call my Grandparents... My Grandma laughs and says that we'll have our hands full, she tells my Grandpa who I hear laughing his butt off in the background. I'm starting to sense a pattern, we tell people we're having twins and the first thing they do is laugh...
Anyway, we go through the rest of the pregnancy without a hitch. The babies are born 11-24-09, Joshua came first, Jonah comes out butt first 6 minutes later. Up until the point you first see that you have 2 babies, you can't truly appreciate what is happening. You can say "yeah, I'm having twins" but those are just words. When you physically see two babies laying there... You want to run.. Run as far and as fast as you can... I'm kidding of course... There are no words to describe seeing two babies.. I cried when Caleb was born. I also cried with the twins, but it was a mixed bag of emotions cry. Happy they're ok, happy they're here, HOLY CRAP THERE ARE TWO OF THEM!!!! *Funny side note, throughout the delivery in the O.R. Jill thought she was hanging onto and squeezing the crap out of my hand/arm.. Nope, it was the anesthesiologist's arm and hand... But he was a trooper and probably needed medical attention afterward.*
The first night home was a nightmare.. They wouldn't sleep, they were fussy. Jill had one of the boys on the couch with her, I had the other with me in the chair. The one I had slept for about 90 minutes at one point, so did I. Jill, was not so lucky. The first 6 weeks were rough. We worked in shifts of 3 to 4 hours. She would go sleep for 3 or 4 hours while I stayed up, fed them, changed them, whatever they needed. Then I would go in, wake her, and we'd switch. Once in awhile one of us would give the other an extra hour or so if things were going smoothly. Luckily by 11 weeks old they started sleeping through the night... Which was amazing... People seem to ask me "what's it like having 2 babies?" Well, it's a lot like you'd imagine it would be. It's hectic, it's incredibly busy, it's frustrating, it's tiring, there are two mouths to feed, two butts to change, two babies to dress, but we worked very well together on it and it was also pretty fun at times. It could have been 100 times worse but working together and maintaining a team really helped in easing the adjustment to the twins.
And as they've grown older it's also twice as rewarding. You get to see two sets of first steps, see them feed themselves, see them recognize one another and interact. I get people who have asked me if they're competitive with one another or if one was dominate over the other in doing things first.. I don't remember honestly.. When one walked for the first time we just ridiculed the other one and shamed him into walking whether he wanted to or not... "Ohhh look what Josh is doing!!! We love him best because you aren't walking yet JONAH!!" "I guess if you want to eat Jonah, you'll learn to walk over here to where the food is...If you go hungry you have no one to blame but yourself..." That's the kind of parents we are, motivators.... But honestly, they both were relatively close in all firsts, I don't remember who did what first or when. All I know is when they started walking all thought of sitting and relaxing was over. Twins have this remarkable ability to enter a building and immediately go in separate directions. Kind of like when you put two magnets together and they want to shoot apart in opposite directions... And they haven't slowed down since...
Grocery shopping was a real treat after they were born. We'd have them in carts and people would without fail gravitate to the carts to touch, poke, prod, and coo at the babies.. I maintain that babies have the ability to make an adults I.Q. drop to levels of being borderline mentally challenged... But then the questions would start... You'd get the normal questions like
"Are they boys or girls?" Fair enough, they're boys..
"Are they twins?" Nope, we had the one, and found the other on the way home on the side of the road... But how lucky are we that they match!!! Moron, of course they're twins, why else would we have TWO babies?
"Are they Identical or Fraternal?" For some reason, people want to classify twins into two categories: identical and NOT identical... Most people know that there are two types of twins, yet, I would be willing to wager most have no idea what that actually means.
"Do twins run in your families?" This one to me is a question that kinda makes me wanna throttle the person asking just a little. It's a small talk question. You don't really care, whether or not you sleep tonight isn't hinging on the answer to this question, so why ask? Generally though, I've found that the person asking generally doesn't care about the answer you give them, but takes it as a green light to enlighten you to their family history of twins.. Like that makes us "twin buddies." To answer, identical twins are NOT hereditary, we just got lucky.
"Which one is the good twin?" You're an idiot.... That is the only acceptable response to this question.
"How come their names don't match? I have been asked this.. Like we're supposed to name them Gary and Barry, Ned and Ted, Eric and Derek.... They're names do match in that their initials are J.R.G. but that's as close as it gets... They are twins yes, they do look a like yes, but they are individuals. Their road is going to be tougher than most due to the fact they look a like, why burden them with rhyming names?
"Do they have their own language?" No, they're still mastering English at this point..
"Do you dress them alike? No, we love our kids... I am amazed at how many people are genuinely disappointed when they hear we have never dressed them alike... Personally, I think it's stupid to do that. Have I ever done it? Yes, with pajamas only. And only to confuse two of my friends who were hanging out here.. Outside of that I feel it's cliche and over done.
"How do you tell them apart?" I look at them.... Other times I just call out a name and hope they're honest...
If that isn't bad enough then you get the statements from people.. 98 % of the time they are unwarranted and unnecessary but people still feel the need to pitch in their two cents.. Here are a few that I can remember off hand that I've heard personally..
"I could never do that" Really? What would you do in my situation? Put a sign around one of their necks that say "Free to a good home." and put them on the side of the road?
"Do they have different personalities?" No, they are the same human being just divided in two... Of course they do, they look alike, they aren't actually the same person...
"Just wait until they're older, it'll only get harder.." *throat punch*
There I'm sure have been others but those are the main ones, and any parent out there who has twins either identical or fraternal can show their laminated card you get after enduring these questions for an extended period of time.. It's an exclusive club..
They're 4 years old now.. They're little monsters both literally and physically. Whereas Caleb was tall and very very skinny with bird legs. The twins are freakishly muscular and live life at 150 mph.. They have hurt me physically many times, you just can't show weakness around them or it's over for you. We had a friend make the observation that from the waist up they're built like upside down triangles. And he is right, these guys are solid from the ground up, I don't recall seeing shoulders on kids like these guys, and I fear the day they put it all together and realize they're beasts..
But on the flip side they are two of the most sensitive boys I've ever met. Oldest brother can be when he wants to. These two are very compassionate. Jonah will see a boy crying in class at church and will cry with him. They are both quick to dole out unwarranted hugs and I love you's. They both like to sit with you. Josh has this unbridled joy for everything little in life... Where kids get excited for toys, trips, or going to grandma's.. Josh gets so excited watching Jill unpack groceries and seeing what all she has brought home, or for new socks, and last night Jill took him to Subway for dinner and he kept saying "it's so nice to eat in here." He has a great enthusiasm for life and all it holds, I pray he never loses that.. Josh also has what looks like Caleb's artistic ability. Jonah, lives life at one speed 150 mph, he is sharp as a tack, he memorizes dialogue in movies and The Wiggles and recites them with the movie. He has memorized most of the Wiggles dances and will do them when the songs come on. He is very affectionate and seems to be drawn to those who are sad or upset as stated earlier. Jill and I have argued before in the car and from the back of the van we hear "come on guys, don't fight please." He just wants everyone to get a long.
Don't get me wrong they are boys 100% Oldest brother Caleb doesn't stand a chance when the boys combine their efforts and start beating on him. I've walked into beatings that would make what happened to Rodney King look like a tickle fight... I've watched Jonah curb stomp Caleb's head into the floor and leave Caleb dazed, I've walked in just in time to see Josh kick Caleb in the face and Jonah kick Caleb in the ribs as Caleb laid on the ground. It has not gone unpunished, so don't judge me.. I only let it go until there is blood or unconsciousness.... What is scary is that Josh has shown some interest in professional wrestling... He's sat with me and watch Hulk Hogan's matches and can pick Hulk Hogan out in commercials, shows, or matches... And they love watching DVD's that I am on from show's I've done that were recorded for DVD or TV.
It's been a real trip watching these two grow up so far. I wouldn't trade them for the world. Josh looks most like me out of my 4 boys. They are identical but to us they are easy to tell apart. Josh has a more slender face and ears that stick out, he has a notch on his ear. Jonah has a fuller face and an eye that at one point was half brown, half blue.. Now it's just lighter on the bottom. Don't get me wrong there are times I go through the parental Rolodex of names when I'm trying to get their attention or if one of them has done something wrong.. And when they get their summer hair buzz I mistake them for the other. So it does happen. But 9 times out of 10 I can get them first try.
I shudder for the day they hit their teens and hit big growth spurts. At their 2 yr they were both 3'2" to 3'3" which by estimation would put them at about 6'4" to 6'6"... And Jill does have that kinda height in her family. She has a cousin who is 6'9" and her dad is 6'3", we're both about 6' so they have height on their side. And brother can they eat already.. Jonah last night had 2 servings of broccoli and 16 fish sticks... Last week in one sitting Jonah had 5 hot dogs (only 1 with a bun). I've watched him put away 11 sausage links in a sitting, while also eating 3 pancakes. Josh has eaten 15+ chicken nuggets in a sitting, 2-3 pieces of pizza and crazy bread. They both can out eat Caleb with no problem. I have a feeling they are going to be monsters..
Well, hopefully this novel-ish entry has given you a little bit of an idea of what it's like to find out you're having twins, what it's like having them, what kinds of things you deal with having them, both from the twins themselves, and from strangers.. And overall that it's not so bad to have twins. They love each other, they are each others best friend (for now), they are never lonely, the always have someone to play with, and they are an incredible source of entertainment....
Again, thank you all for the comments, suggestions, and questions. Feel free to keep them coming by using the options on the right hand side of the page. Share my blog with your family and friends, I don't mind at all if you shoot them the link to the blog, or suggest to someone to stop by and check it out.
Until Next Time,
Be Well....
Now for a gratuitous shot of all my boys!! *Note Jonah's serial killer look.. It's breathtaking...*
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