That being said, I'll dive into yesterday. But I'll start with the back story. I know I posted a warning for graphic content, but there really won't be any. Maybe some borderline over share, but nothing graphic and I won't go into details.
So I've been experiencing pain in my lower extremities for about a month. Given my family history of prostate cancer, bladder cancer, etc.. I was pretty concerned. I know I'm only 36 but cancer knows no age and really doesn't care how old you are. So after some putting off I finally made the doctor appointment to go figure out what is going on.
I go in yesterday, go through the motions of a normal doctor appointment, pulse, blood pressure, temp, etc... Then the nurse asks me to tell her in detail what's wrong, where it hurts, and what not.. I instantly am uncomfortable.. I mean I can tell my doctor with a minimal amount of being uncomfortable, but this is a female nurse whom I've never seen in my life. So I proceed to stammer and stumble over my words as I awkwardly tell her what's going on. I'm pretty sure at that point she thought my main problem was being mentally challenged. If ever there was a moment where the awkwardness was so thick in the air you could cut it with a knife, it was yesterday.. So we stumble through that like a drunken rhino in a china shop and she tells me that the doctor will be in shortly. Ok, cool, the doctor and I have a good relationship, he knows all about me, my family history, and even about my time in wrestling.
Doc comes in and shakes my hand, sits down on his rolling stool and wheels over to me. Asks me to explain again what's going on. I tell him with a minimal amount of discomfort. He types some stuff into his laptop and sets it aside along with his professionalism at that point and says "drop your drawers man." What? Drop your drawers man??? That kinda threw me a little... So reluctantly I did, we go through the exam, he says he doesn't think it's cancer as he doesn't find any indicators. I'm relieved to say the least, he takes off his gloves and I start to pull up my pants and he says "not so fast buster, we need to check that prostate while we're here..." Instantly all I could think about is....
So, he asks if I have any allergies to anything like latex, etc.. I with as much humor as a man with his pants around his ankles can muster tell him I am in fact allergic to prostate exams.... He chuckles slightly and says "ok, over the table, rest on your elbows.." Great... Here we go.. No small talk, no buying me dinner first, just hit the table fatty.... So I do, with the feeling one can only assume one has his first night and shower in prison... And he goes "oops, gonna be a sec, can't find what I need here..." So here he is rummaging through the drawers in the room like he's lost his car keys. Meanwhile, I'm leaning over the table exposed to the world in what can only be described as the most vulnerable of positions. And he STOPS what he's doing and goes "good time for me to not be able to find what I need while you're standing there with your pants around your ankles..." Really?!?!? I hadn't noticed slappy.. I do this all the time really.. Take your time... Open the door if you want to, invite some people in to chat whilst you continue your search for the holy grail in those drawers.. Not the time to be joking in my opinion, I wanted nothing more than to turn around and punch him in the neck. But a move like that and I'd most likely have sprawled out on the cold tile floor. So I held my position for what I believe was 2 hours. He finally goes "alright, we're good, are you ready?" Am I ready?? Like I'm going to giggle and go "yes, please." No, I'm not ready, a 90 day notice would not be enough time to be ready.. So needless to say I was violated and all tests came back good. Minus the 90 minutes I spent at home after ward sitting, silently sobbing under a running shower as I hugged my knees and rocked gently. So finally the exam is over and I get to pull up and be fully dressed again. There is an awkwardness to our conversation after this. He tells me that he doesn't think it's cancer, which was the important thing to me. So we finish up and he extends his hand to shake mine. I hesitate briefly like Hulk Hogan to look around for crowd approval. I thought maybe I'd get a hug at least. I mean that's a pretty special bond you create with a doctor in a moment like that. But alas, I just shake his hand and run to my car with tears welling up in my eyes...
Not a banner day for me but I guess the outcome could have been a lot worse. I'm thankful that the possibility of cancer has been ruled out. I'm not looking forward to that age where you have to have that done yearly. But hey, the sun is out today, that is now all in the past, and with some therapy I will be good as new in no time...
I will hopefully be updating this blog more frequently from now on. Even if it's just weird random rambling, kinda like what most of my blogs are. Hope you enjoyed a little look into my life. Just be thankful that look wasn't as detailed as the one the doctor had yesterday. Think he'll bill me for his therapy??
Until next time, be well...
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