Caleb is in 4th grade now, he just turned 10 years old. He's gotta be pushing just under 5ft tall and he's starting to not look like such a little kid anymore. Well, he comes home one day about a month ago with a packet that he says I need to sign and send back with him. Ok, no biggie, he has these all the time. Then he says the words that freeze me dead in my tracks... "It's about sex ed..." So, after my heart beat regulated and I could see straight again, I took said packet from him and told him I'd look it over and get it to him in a few minutes. The packet was an outline of the sex ed classes the school was going to conduct, what it was going to cover, and how we should prepare ourselves for the fall out of the dumpster fire they're about to start....
I was somewhat relieved to see that his school was primarily going to be focusing on puberty and what it entails, how the body changes, what they can expect to happen, etc.. The Jr. High kids would be tackling how babies are made, where they come from, and what they can do to lower teen pregnancy. We never had sex education in my school growing up. I have mentioned this to several people who all in turn look at me like I'm Michael Vick applying for a job as a dog show judge.. Apparently I'm the odd man out in this situation and most other schools offered Sex Ed to their students... Anyway, so I read this paper and it's uncomfortable. Not because of what it says so much, but because I knew this time in his life was coming and he is the type of kid to ask the questions I never would've at his age. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that's a flaw, I'm glad he's comfortable enough to ask these questions. Just there are times where I wish I wasn't the one fielding them. So I sign the paper saying he can participate in this class because we feel it will be to his benefit to know what's coming down the road.
So the dates come and go that the classes are supposed to take place. I'm expecting him to come home with questions and am mentally prepping myself for this, giving myself this mental pep talk, psyching myself up.. But days go by with no word from him. I took the approach if he has questions he will come to me with them. I didn't want to bombard him or share things with him he wasn't ready to hear. So I figured he'd hit me with whatever his 10 year old brain could come up with. But nothing.... So I figured either he's too embarrassed to ask me anything, or, the school did a really good job of explaining things. So I let it ride until......... 2 weeks later.........
It's 11:30 pm, he goes to bed about 8:30 pm. Everyone is in bed, I'm enjoying my quiet time watching a documentary on Netflix. I hear rustling in the kitchen, not unusual, Caleb will come down and get drinks sometimes, then pop into the living room to tell me good night. So per usual he walks into the living room. This time he sits down on the couch in front of me. After about 2 minutes of being silent, he turns to me and says "You know that class I took at school?" I say "yeah". He says "do you mind if I ask you some questions that I have about it??" In my head instantly I scream NOOOOOOOOOO! Like Vader below.
But, knowing it's my duty as a father, I tell him "sure, what'cha got?" My mind is going a million miles per hour because this kid is very intelligent and can come up with great questions. He excuses himself to go grab the paper that he brought home outlining what all they covered. He sits down by me on the couch and looks at it. The following conversation takes place...
Caleb: They gave us this paper, it has a list of things on it that we could experience. Do you mind if I run through them? I mean, you're pretty much the only guy that I'm around all the time so I figured you'd be a good one to review this with in case I have any questions..
Me: (feeling somewhat relieved) So you just want to review it? Do you have any questions before we begin?
Caleb: Nope, no questions. But I want to make sure.
Me: Ok, shoot.
Caleb: Here is the checklist of what I may experience (mind you he JUST turned 10 and in my opinion isn't really experiencing any of them yet.)
Moodiness - Yes, I've been moody.
Wanting Independence - I definitely want my independence.
Crushes - Yeah, I have had crushes.
(then comes my favorite thing ever, one of the greatest things he's ever said)
Hair Growth - (he rubs his head) Well, you just cut my hair and it's still short so I would say that my hair isn't growing that quickly....
(at this point I am DYING on the inside... I don't have the heart to tell him that it's not quite what they meant, so I let it go and file that away mentally for later)
Me: That's the list, do you have any questions on what will happen or anything about what you learned?
Caleb: No, I'm comfortable with everything. I just wanted to go over it all to see if any new questions popped up.
(at this point it feels like an elephant has been lifted off my chest.)
Caleb: Well, I do have one question that is somewhat unrelated.
Me: alright, shoot.
Caleb: Where do babies come from and how are they made?
Me: Uhhhhhhhhh... What?????????
Caleb: Babies, I've always wanted to know where they come from and how they're made.
(At this point I would've rather him just walk over to me and slap me across the face)
Me: Well buddy.....(awkward silence)......This is probably something your mother and I should discuss and then come back to you about. (In my defense it does say to do that on his paperwork) So what I'll do is talk to your mom about it, figure out how we want to approach the subject, and sit down with you and talk it out ok?
Caleb: Good idea dad, I think mom may know more about it than you after all she's had 4 babies..
Me: You're probably right..
So.. That was pretty awful and awkward. I know she and I are going to have to tackle this subject soon because he's not the type to forget. Luckily he's on vacation this week. We figure we'll let him ask questions about what he wants to know so as to not over explain things, or tell him things he's not ready to hear. Either way this should be interesting.
And to think, we get to go through this 3 more times!!!
A belated Happy Fathers Day to all you dad's out there!!
Until Next time,
Be Well....
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